perception of perdition

irony.
i had slowly strayed from the path which was chosen for me
irony
that it was a dream, that came along and brought me back to reality
and this time, there shall be no failure

no excuses...
his death tore our group apart
but I'm determined to one day
salvage his teachings
and resurrect his lost traditions
in the name of honour
and the light he gave
freely to all

the dreams return...
seeing my past
reminding me of my aim
the promise I made to him

his death was premature
the promise I made was forgotten
seeing him again after 6 long years
I finally remember

these dreams were not in vain
they're reminders of the promises
of yesterday

its time I stop fooling around... there is something important I must accomplish.

this was a dream
that which changed
my perception, my beliefs
with acute effect

as I lay down to sleep
the thoughts, questions abound
I closed my eyes, seeking answers
and I saw with clarity

I saw myself, big, grown up
clad in black from neck to toe
tall, strong and with eyes
that gazed right through your soul

as 'I' was standing
I saw a man behind 'me'
he came at 'me' with a knife
delivering a stab

his weapon merely met air
as the grown up 'me' vanished
into white smoke,
obscuring my vision

when the smoke lifted
I saw the man's body, a knife
right through his heart
laid to rest where he stood

his expression of agony and horror

and I saw...
myself... in black... walking away slowly
towards the path of righteousness
he looked back, and saw me
and told me never to give up

never to give in
to train hard
protect your loved ones
and that I am more than
what I believe myself to be


I woke with a start...
it all felt so real
had I met myself of the future
had he come to warn me?
had he come to answer
that which questions me


"if a man was armed and endangering the life of you, your family, and everything you ever held dear, and at a whim would kill you in cold blood, would you fight him in the name of all you've sworn to protect? if killing him was the only way of ensuring he will never threaten your family again, would you?"

and the answer revealed itself, that night.

the heat in radiance
the flame of desire
the power invariant
his dark empire

nothing but ashes remain
that which was once great
he who was once whole
fuel to the fire, to dust

out of his ashes
this strange illuminate
this terrible feeling
such horrible, diabolic power

new strength was forged
his allegiance bound
to a new master
his power and him, one

do not invoke the wrath
especially of those
whom you do not fully comprehend
for that mistake, shall be your last.

perhaps love was never meant to be...

the substrate to anger
the fuel to hatred
the catalyst to vengeance
the flame of eternity burns

mortal, bounded and weak
their spirits, immortal
never dying, never ending
their wills, never waning

my fuel, my fire
my hearts' desire
for he has been wounded
but he shall spare none

that said power heals him
it shows him the way
bright where it is dark
giving him a second chance

for a wounded man shall say to his assailant
if I die, you are forgiven
but if I live...
I will kill you

Such is the rule of honor!

when such tender, blossoming love
is denied, dejected...
pure care and concern
that which only grows

from the bottom of his heart
he yearns to be her champion
after her denial and infidelity
he earns corruption

when a broken heart is left unmended
it begins to poison ones' thoughts
his feelings of love, that which is true
has turned to hate, pure and unrelenting

without love, without life
there can be no turning back
without love,
nothing hurts anymore

learn to hate
this poison overcomes him
teaches him to hate
gives him power
that beyond his wildest dreams

love may be a powerful emotion....




but...


HATE is the ULTIMATE COMPULSION!




Learn to hate... let it consume you, and feel that power at your fingertips.
Don't turn back... ever.

I'm not going to study for the biochemistry test tommorow...

I don't pay attention in class, I don't revise.

For the record, I sleep in BCT class.

So all of you, do well and score higher than me...
for once, someone. please challenge me.

since everyone has been mugging hard the past 2 weeks
I don't expect anyone to fall below...

Show the fruits of your labour.

I haven't even looked thru any lecture notes at all, and it will stay this way.

Score well tommorow and beat me, give me a run for my brains.
Seriously, CHALLENGE ME!!!!

Pretend to be the cool cats but you're sub-standard compared to a slacker like me? You've got me in stitches!

Bottom line, Beat me in BCT tommorow and give me some challenge...
Those who score lower or can't even make the grade, please kill yourselves, really.

Beat me hands down... or perhaps try.

for awhile i thougt i fell asleep
lying motionless inside a dream...

THEN RISING SUDDENLY,
I FELT A CHILLY BREATH UPON ME

She softly whispered in my ear "Forsaken."...
I have come for you tonight...
Awaken...
Look in my eyes and take my hand,
give yourself all to me...

the most painful thing to endure
isn't a lethal wound...
isn't an unseen blow...
isn't a slow death...

its seeing the one you love...
every day... wishing she'd talk to you...
but she doesen't, silence.

its seeing the one you love...
and knowing that
no matter how hard you tried
you can never have her...

it consumes you from within
all your thoughts
rattling through your bones
it breaks your will
everything else in between

seeing the one you love
wishing you could somehow reach her
wishing she'd know what you're enduring
wanting to be by her side
but not being able to at all...

this is the ultimate heartbreak

all I can do, is walk away. Hoping I'll heal someday...


I'm still hurting

kamu sentiasa di fikiranku
walaupun saya cuba memadamimu
kenapa?
perasaanku, cinta padamu
tetap hanya kamu di hatiku
hanya kamu...

mungkin, suatu hari nanti, perasaan sayang
ini padamu,
akan diterima...
saya sudi menunggu.... demi cinta...


maafkan saya...

Learn to treasure what you have before its too late...

stop all of this...

take my hand or walk away... do choose, whichever may be...
just don't hurt me anymore.

If you choose to be this way, so be it.

don't remember me.

if someday I'm gone

my spirit carries on

but know that

I once loved you... in silence and in all honesty.

that which no longer exists...

all but a memory...

i waited painfully...
trying not to fall again
trying to silence the
fear within me...

you have forsaken me.

awaken...
look in my eyes
and take my hand...
give yourself all to me

take me far away...
close your eyes
and hold your breath
to the ends
of the earth...